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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25269730">The Art of E-Stripping</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/detangling/pseuds/detangling'>detangling</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, E-Strippers, Fluff, M/M, Matchmaker Byun Baekhyun, Meet-Cute, slight crack</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:54:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,354</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25269730</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/detangling/pseuds/detangling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It all started when Jongdae answered the ‘super special birthday surprise call’ Baekhyun had arranged for him and was greeted by an extremely thick, pert ass. “Um, what the FUCK?” </p><p>or alternatively, Minseok was supposed to strip on FaceTime but instead helps Jongdae with boy trouble... could it be a match made in heaven?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Minseok | Xiumin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Art of E-Stripping</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It all started when Jongdae answered the ‘super special birthday surprise call’ Baekhyun had arranged for him and was greeted by an extremely thick, pert ass. He chokes on the spoonful of cookie dough ice cream currently in his mouth before coughing out an “Um, what the FUCK?” </p><p> </p><p>To this, the (admittedly attractive) mystery man smirks. “Hey beautiful, like what you see?” Jongdae springs out of bed, staring in complete shock at his phone. Where there’s a man taking off his shirt. A man he doesn’t know. His confusion must be written all over his face because the mystery man’s grin only amplifies. “I’m your birthday surprise, Jongdae,” he announces, running a hand down his stomach as he swivels his hips in a wide circle. The man throws his head back, arching his neck.  “My what?” Jongdae squeaks as the man turns around, showing off yet another view of his jean-clad ass. “Your friend Baekhyun hired me, the Almighty Xiumin, to dance for you. He said you could use a little cheering up.” This statement is accompanied by a teasing hip roll.</p><p>Jongdae stiffens. “Oh my god, I am going to kill him,” he mutters angrily. The man flashes Dae a devastatingly cute smile. “Or you could just sit back and enjoy the show,” he drawls, “Baekhyun paid me for the hour.” His hands sink lower, going to undo the button on his pants. Jongdae’s eyes widen comically. “Oh my god, stop!!” He covers his face, tears welling up in frustration… As if his birthday couldn’t get any worse, now he was gonna have to awkwardly stop his “birthday surprise” from shedding any more clothes. The man smiles wider, toying with the zipper. “Want me to go slower--” </p><p>His words are cut off by Jongdae’s anguished, close-mouthed scream of horror. “No, please! Keep your clothes on!” Thankfully, at this, the man drops his hands and peers at the screen with a look of confusion. “Wait, are you serious?” </p><p>Jongdae breathes a sigh of relief-- “Yes, I’m being serious. I’m sorry my friend wasted your time, but I’m not interested.” There’s a beat of silence and Jongdae starts to fidget. Should he end the call right now? Say bye or something? Instead of looking angry, however, the man sits down on the chair behind him. “Well,” he says with a laugh, “this is a first.” Jongdae exhales slowly and gives the man a tight smile. “Who even are you.. Um, Mr. Xiumin?” he asks. </p><p>“Actually my name is Minseok. I’m an E-stripper-- Xiumin’s my stage name,” Xiumin/Minseok replies.</p><p>“The fuck is an E-Stripper?” Jongdae scrunches his nose as he sits back down on his bed, careful to avoid knocking over his melting bowl of ice cream. It’s quiet for a moment as Minseok formulates his answer. Jongdae takes the time to contemplate picking out the chocolate chips from the ice cream before realizing he’d look insane. As if this Minseok dude didn’t already think he’s crazy enough. “Instead of stripping at the club,” Minseok starts, causing Jongdae to jump a little, “I do Facetime dances.” Now it’s Jongdae who looks at him like he’s crazy, and Minseok frowns. “Hey, don’t judge. I’m just trying to pay my way through med school.” </p><p>Dae huffs out a laugh. “Don’t worry, I’m not judging. I’m just surprised, I guess.” Minseok nods, then runs a hand through his wavy chestnut hair. Jongdae’s eyes definitely do NOT follow the subtle movement as he sighs, “I should've known Baekhyun was up to something. He sent me like, twenty texts making sure I picked up this call.” He buries his head in his hands. “Ugh, I just can’t believe he’d do something like this.”</p><p>“I’m sure he meant well,” Minseok says gently, before adding, “Happy birthday, by the way.” He smiles handsomely, and Jongdae can’t help but give him a small one in return. “Thanks-- you’re right. This was just a misguided attempt to make me feel better.” Jongdae’s smile turns rueful, remembering how excited Baekhyun had been to help him “move on.” Minseok picks up on his change in demeanor and clears his throat. “Is… everything okay?” Jongdae just waves off his words with a forced laugh. “Hey man, don’t worry about it. It’s nice of you to ask, but Baek didn’t hire you to listen to my boy drama, so you can just hang up if you want--”</p><p>“I’m paid for the hour, and it’s non-refundable. I don’t want to waste your friend’s money, so… talk to me.” Minseok cuts him off, words flowing out rapidly as if Jongdae would interrupt at any second. Jongdae frowns, contemplating whether it was worth telling a stranger-- and an E-stripper no less-- about his problems. At Jongdae’s hesitance, Minseok prods further. “Come on, what happened?” </p><p>Jongdae sighs, then sinks further into his mattress. He figures he has nothing left to lose anyway. “My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday,” he confesses. Minseok’s eyebrows shoot up. “As in, the day before your birthday?” Jongdae nods miserably. “Jeez, and here I thought I had shitty ex-boyfriends. What an asshole.” Jongdae rolls his eyes. “You have no idea-- I was completely blindsided. There’s this new guy at his job, and apparently he wanted to ask him out. And to think we’ve been dating for a year…”</p><p>Jongdae didn’t even know if it was possible for Minseok’s eyebrows to climb even higher, yet they did. “Wow-- so he’s a Level Ten Asshole. The worst kind of all.” Despite the tears pooling in the corner of his eyes, Jongdae manages to chuckle. Minseok leans forward with a determined look. “I mean it, Jongdae. People who really love you shouldn’t hurt you. And plus, anyone who’d let a handsome and fun guy like you get away… Well, there must be something wrong with them.”</p><p>Jongdae feels his heart skip a beat. He tries to deflect the sudden warmth spreading through his chest with a laugh. “That’s sweet, but you don’t even know me. How could you possibly know I’m fun?’ Dae challenges (trying not to stare at Minseok’s bulging muscles when he frowns and crosses his arms). “Well, for starters, I can see that you’re wearing an Exo'rdium t-shirt, which happens to be one of my favorite live concert tours of all time. So I know you have an excellent taste in music, and like to have a good time.” Jongdae can’t stop the smile that makes its way across his face nor the way his cheeks start to heat. Encouraged, Minseok continues, “And behind you I can see a bunch of Polaroids.” He leans closer to the phone, squinting to make out the contents. “I see… a sunset over the ocean, a group of your friends at a party, and some succulents… So like me, you must like adventure and nature.” Jongdae laughs, confirming Minseok’s guesses with a nod and smile. Was it possible for his cheeks to get any warmer?  “And lastly,” Minseok’s wolfish grin from earlier is back, “There’s both a pizza box AND a tub of ice cream on your bed. Anyone who eats those in bed is a serious catch.” Jongdae snorts. He should be embarrassed at how red his face is, but all he can focus on is the sensation of feeling like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. </p><p>“Alright, alright, I get it.” Jongdae looks at the phone again with clear, more appreciative eyes. Minseok is funny, hot, AND studying to become a doctor? He awkwardly clears his throat, suddenly wanting to know more about the enigmatic man on his screen. “So… how does one get into E-stripping?” Minseok shrugs, then laughs. “Honestly, I’ve always loved dancing. I’m not sure I’d be brave enough for live stripping, so E-stripping felt like a good alternative… plus, it pays pretty well. I mean, Stanford Medical School doesn’t come cheap.” </p><p>Jongdae’s jaw drops open. Did he hear that correctly? “Wait, I go to Stanford, too!” It must be fate, Dae thinks. At this, Minseok’s eyes narrow suspiciously. “For real? You’re not just messing with me?” </p><p>Jongdae smiles, his eyes crinkling. “Yup! I just started this past fall.” Minseok lets out a long, low whistle before leaning back and shaking his head. “I don’t believe you. There’s no way I wouldn’t have noticed such a good-looking guy like you on campus.”</p><p>Jongdae laughs through another flustered smile. “You’re a real charmer, Minseok, you know that?” At this, Minseok smiles, rubbing his palms up and down his jeans. If he wasn’t an E-Stripper, Jongdae might’ve entertained the thought that he was nervous. “I have my moments. What are you studying?” </p><p>“Medical law, actually,” Jongdae replies, affectionately glancing over to the looming pile of textbooks at the end of the bed. Minseok shakes his head in wonder. “It’s surprising we haven’t met before, considering how much we have in common.” Dae hums in agreement, but stops when Minseok leans back suddenly. “You know what, Jongdae? I like you.”</p><p>Jongdae mirrors his movement, leaning back into his pillow and crossing his arms above his head. He might not be absolutely ripped like Minseok, but two can play at this game. Tucking his chin in the way that drives his classmates wild, he blinks up at Minseok through his lashes. “I like you too, Minseok. You have officially cheered me up.” Minseok gives him a wide, gummy smile. “That’s what I’m here for.” He shuffles in his chair before asking, “So… by any chance are you going to that fundraiser on campus tonight--” </p><p>He’s cut off by the sudden blast of an all-too familiar ringtone erupting from Jongdae’s phone. “Holy shit,” Jongdae breathes out. He knows that specific ringtone a little too well. “My ex is calling me… Minseok, what should I do??” Jongdae’s too panicked to see Minseok’s face fall before he forces it into a neutral position. “Well… What do you want him to do? What do you want out of this conversation?”</p><p>“I want to pick up,” Jongdae says. “And I want him to tell me he’s sorry and that he made a horrible mistake.” Minseok scans Jongdae’s face before sighing. “You already know how I feel about your ex. But then again, I’m probably not the best person to be asking. I’ve been single for years.” He reaches down to grab his shirt from the floor with a quiet groan, shoulder popping. “Hey… Thanks for everything today, Minseok,” Jongdae says quietly. Minseok wiggles his arms through his shirt. “Anytime, Jongdae. Good luck.” </p><p>Jongdae waves goodbye, then picks up his phone. He can do this, he thinks as redials his ex’s number. Soon, his ex’s familiar face fills the screen-- and Jongdae finds a sick pleasure in how miserable he looks. At least Jongdae hasn’t been suffering alone. “What do you want?” Jongdae asks coldly. His ex can barely meet his eyes. “I want to apologize. I made a huge mistake the other day.” Regret and pain fills his eyes. “Let me guess,” Jongdae sneers, “The new guy turned you down… so now you think you can just crawl back to me.” His ex shakes his head vehemently. “No! I didn’t even ask him, I don’t even know why I thought I should. It’s not him that I want-- I want you.” </p><p>He’s saying everything Jongdae wanted to hear. A part of him relishes in this fact, but not for long. “You really hurt me,” Jongdae says, “I thought we were happy.”</p><p>“We were-- no, we are!” His ex exclaims. Then, more softly, he adds, “Dae, I love you. You know I do.” For a second, Jongdae feels himself caving in, back to the comfort and familiarity of this relationship-- something that he knew and had been a part of for almost an entire year. But something Minseok said stops him from giving in completely-- and actually, maybe it was less something that he’d said and more just Minseok himself. How long had it been since someone had actually given him butterflies like that? His ex always acted as if he had settled for Jongdae. For the first time, Jongdae realizes that if anyone had settled in this relationship, it was him.  </p><p>“No, actually, you don’t love me.” This time, Jongdae enjoys the satisfaction he gets from watching his ex’s face drop completely, as if Jongdae had dumped a bucket of cold water on him. “Someone once told me that the people who love you shouldn’t hurt you. And you hurt me so badly that I can’t forgive you. This is over. I’m no longer settling for less than I deserve.” His ex drops his regretful act, instead scoffing and rolling his eyes. “Who told you that?” Jongdae just smiles. “An E-stripper, actually.” And with that, he leans over and ends the call. </p><p> </p><p>A moment passes, then-- “HOLYSHITICANTBELIEVEIJUSTDIDTHAT!!!” Jongdae could scream with happiness. Bolstered with sudden confidence and a newfound clarity of what he wanted, Jongdae goes to his recent calls and presses on Minseok’s number, who answers on the first ring. “Jongdae?” Minseok asks, thoroughly confused. </p><p>Jongdae smirks. “Guess what-- He wanted me back!!! He apologized and told me it was a huge mistake and everything.” Minseok blinks a few times. “Okay…um, I mean that’s good I guess--”</p><p>Jongdae doesn’t let him finish. “--But you were right. People who love you shouldn’t hurt you. So I ended it. Officially. If he could write me off that easily, he didn’t love me. Not the way I want-- not the way I deserve-- to be loved.” Minseok gives him one of those big, thousand-watt smiles again. “Hell yeah. I’m proud of you, Jongdae.”</p><p>Jongdae feels warm all over as he leans towards the phone again, voice dropping down an octave. “Just call me Dae. Now, what were you saying about the fundraiser tonight?” Minseok laughs, bright and loud, an incredulous look shining on his face. “Dae, would you allow me the honor of accompanying you to the fundraiser tonight?” Jongdae smiles, already envisioning a future of success, happiness, and personal E-strpper calls. “I’d love nothing more.”</p><p> </p><p>Maybe Baekhyun was right about E-strippers, after all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you so much for reading! this is the first time i've gained the courage to post :,) hope you enjoyed!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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